Sardines
by Starblaze and Solaris
Summary: The Marauders and a couple of friends are playing Sardines. Remus is squished into a corner, musing about the love of his life, when who should turn up, (having cheated, too,) but Sirius. RLSB, Wolfstar fluff.


StarblazeAndSolaris SAS SolStar

**Warning!: This is Wolfstar. Slash, boy/boy, etc. Don't like, don't read. Simples! (We've been watching too many compare the market/meerkat adverts...)**

**Sol: This is a cheesy piece of sap that started of as intended to be humorous and ended up as almost repulsive fluff. I'm not perfectly happy with how it turned out, but hey. You can't have everything in life.**

**Star: Translation for all normal people out there: This is cheesy enough to be smelt in Switzerland, fluffy enough to stuff your pillow with, sappy enough to drown in, and sugary enough to leave you needing dentures. It is also an experiment with the 'stream of consciousness' style of writing. Beware.**

**Rating: T, for mentions and insinuations (kinda)**

**Genre: Romance/Friendship, humorous? Tell us in a review which is more appropriate, please. (Sol, that was even less subtle than last time. Seriously.)**

**Disclaimer: We are not JK Rowling. This is despite the many copies of all the books we have floating around our home.**

**Sardines.**

_Sardines. What a stupid game. Why did I even agree to this? Lily, Alice, James, Sirius, Peter and I are officially idiots. Why did I agree to this? Now I'm repeating myself. Wonderful. Exactly what a guy needs to feel great. Ten minutes it has been now, waiting in this ridiculous little alcove, waiting for one of the others to turn up and squeeze in here with me. Why am I the one hiding anyway? Oh yes, because I was the last person to find Alice, in the _girl's loo._ Seriously! It _is_ a girl's toilet, why the hell would I go in there? More precisely, why would the others go in there? Actually, stupid question. Lily could follow Alice in, James would follow Lily in, Peter would follow James in and Sirius? Sirius just thinks that any room reserved for women includes him. Blooming gorgeous womanizer..._

_Oh sh...ugar. Here comes aforementioned womanizer. Complete with... Hang on, is that the Marauder's Map? Now that is just not on. I'm sure it's cheating. Oh Merlin, he's stopped. He's looking at my alcove. He's looking over here. Just... don't move. Don't do anything. At all. Including breathing._

"Remus?"

_BEEP! Now this is bad._

"Hello Moony!"

_Oh good grief, he's stuck his head around the damn statue of whatever giant-slaying monstrosity it is. His hair is falling all over the place, shimmering in the dim light... NO! Bad thoughts, bad thoughts._

"Are you not going to talk to me Moony? I might have to sulk. In fact, I might have to squeeze in here with you and practise my puppy dog eyes for the rest of the game."

_Uh oh._

"Erm, Sirius, why do you have to squidge me right into this corner?"

_I really wish he wouldn't, because my... other brain does not seem to realise that this is neither the place, nor the time for it to be reacting like it is..._

"Because, you fluffy little wolf cub, if I were to back away then I would be visible from the corridor!"

"Right. So you have to try and crush all the air from my lungs, quite possibly extinguishing my life?"

_Not to mention exciting my libido and making me lose all control and push you against the wall and snog you to within an inch of your life. Mmm... NO! Bad thoughts, bad thoughts._

"Yup."

_Why does he always have to pop the 'p'? Can he not just say 'yes' like normal people? But the very interesting way his lips move when he speaks makes me want to... No. Not going there. At all._

"Moony? Earth to the Moony!"

_God he looks good when he's laughing..._

"Gettit? Hehe, Earth to Moony!"

_Except possibly at that._

"What in Heaven's name are you talking about, you strange, strange person? It's a terrible pun."

"Aww, but Mooooonnnyyyy..."

_He's doing the pouting thing again, oh Merlin... Think of something unpleasant. Erm, Professor McGonagall in a mini skirt? Ok, I'm really far gone if that isn't working. Professor McGonagall in a bikini. Argh! I think I overdid that. I'm scarred for life._

"Why are you zoning out on me Moony?"

_He's doing the Merlin-cursed puppy eyes!_

"I'm not, I'm trying to breath so I can continue living! Something which does not seem to be happening any time soon, because you are treading on my toes in an effort to transfigure me into a cardboard cutout of myself, or possibly a dent in the wall, both of which would be much easier and pleasanter if you just used your wand."

_WHY DID I SAY THAT? I'm an idiot. Oh beep, my mouth is running away from my mind again._

"You know, the one in your trouser pocket?"

_Real smart, Lupin. You twat. Is that obvious or what? Yes, so it could be said to be a little dodgy, having Sirius prod you with his wand... Ok, that definitely did not sound how it should have._

"Er, Remus? My wand is here, in my hand."

_He is waving his hand in front of my face... and his wand. But there is still something jabbing me in the thigh. Oh BEEP! I can feel my face burning. Oh dear sweet Merlin, let me out of here before I spontaneously combust, or do something I will really enjoy, and then really hate myself for..._

"Then what is in your pock – oh. Right. Did you meet one of your girls on the way here?"

_I did not just sound bitter. Not at all. But if he says yes, I will just have to give up. I can't do this! But I always say that, and this infatuation never stops._

"Er, not exactly."

_What does he mean by that? Either he did, or he didn't, but I can't smell any girly smells on him._

"What's that supposed to mean?"

_Ok, that came out harsher than it should have. I would apologise, but he's speaking again, and his smooth baritone is not something I am about to interrupt._

"Moony?"

"Sorry, zoned out again."

_Whoops._

"Right, well, I was just saying that no, I had to evade some of the third year gigglers. I wasn't about to stop and flirt when my Moony could be anywhere, maybe even in trouble!"

_My Moony. If it were anyone else saying that, I would clobber them around the head, but coming from him, it just sounds so... right. My Padfoot, I suppose. Huh. I wish._

"But then how... never mind. How did you find me, Pads?"

_Reckon he'll be as oblivious as I want him to be?_

"That trick doesn't work on me any more Moony. You wanted to know why I didn't go for a quick snog, or even get off with one of them, didn't you?"

_Of course he won't. Damn your timing, Pads._

"N-no."

_Accursed stutter._

"Yes you did."

"Did not!"

"Did!"

_He looks really good when he grins all mischievously like that... Uh uh! Nope, off limits Lupin._

"Did not!"

"Did!"

"Did not!"

"Did!"

"Did not!"

"Did!"

"Did not!"

"Did not!"

"Did! Not!"

"Hah!"

_Damn my stupid tongue, always tripping over itself!_

"Well then?"

_Hang on, where did that spurt of confidence come from? Oh wait, maybe my smaller brain, which is, once again, making itself known. Great._

"..."

_Hah! I am a genius! He is silent!_

"Wow! Alert the media! The noisiest prankster, Sirius Black himself, is speechless!"

"Oh shuttup Moony."

_He's doing the blasted pout again..._

"You were the one encouraging the question, Sirius, so you now need to answer it."

_He's doing the panicky puppy dog eyes. The ones where his eyes become really wide and appealing, and he looks like he is on the verge of tears. It makes me want to kiss away all the tears and then, when he is happier... No Moony, no._

"I'll answer that question if you do."

_WHAT!_

"WHAT?"

"You heard me. I'm clearly not the only one with a 'little problem' right now."

_Oh BEEP! Merlin save me. Truthful or not? Shall I? Shan't I? Oh curses, it's now or never. He is… pushing me further into the wall. Speak, Lupin! Before you do something even more moronic!_

"Alright. After you, Messer Padfoot."

_Another burst of stupid self-confidence. Or stupidity. Has someone cast a babbling hex on me without me noticing?_

"No way! We'll say it at the same time. Ready?"

_Oh boy._

"3..."

"2..."

"1..."

"I'minlvwthy - Sirius!"

_Oh Merlin curse the twat. Just a little bit. Curse him with... boils in unlikely places. Or impromptu castration. Actually, not that last one, because then I'd lose out. If I ever get a chance to... no! The git didn't say anything, just waited for me! Twerp._

"Sorry Moony? I didn't fully understand that."

_Actually Merlin, please do castrate him, if only to wipe that smug smirk off his face, such as it is. Although there isn't that much of a smirk – in fact, if I didn't know better, I would say he was _nervous_..._

"Please Moony, Remmy, I'm sorry okay? But just say that again a bit slower, please..."

_Goodbye sweet friendship. I'm leaning in, why are his eyes widening? Is it shock? Horror? But then why is his breathing all hitching and uneven? Merlin that's a turn-on if ever I saw one. And dear sweet _Merlin_ his lips are soft, and pliant, and... responding? He's kissing me back? He's kissing me _back!_ Yippee! Oh god, yes, yes, his arms are round me and my arms are round him, and he isn't pulling away, he's pulling me closer, and dear sweet Merlin he tastes so _good! _ But I'm getting dizzy, and air is becoming a real issue right now._

"Sweet Merlin Remmy!"

_Real suave Sirius, I can hear you struggling to keep control of your breathing. Mind you, I can hardly talk, just look at the state I'm in! From one measly little kiss... with the boy I'm in love with. And doesn't that just sound corny. And girly. And romantic, and oh good lord he's leaning in to kiss me this time. _He_ is instigating a kiss, with _me!

"Mmph..."

_I could do this forever... unless he thinks this is just a fling. Okay, pulling away now. I need to think, which is simply not possible with Sirius looking like _that_ only inches away from my face._

"Why'd you stop, Remus, love?"

_If he keeps calling me that, I swear I will end up shagging him senseless in this damned alcove..._

"Because –"

"What?"

_What if he doesn't want a relationship though? What if he just wants to experiment? Or something..._

"Come _on _Remmy, you can't just clam up now!"

_I'm going to do something stupid... No, behave Lupin. Or else._

"I'm not going to be 'just another fling,' Sirius. I will not be your experiment, or your snog-partner or whatever of a week or so before you get bored and go and find someone better, or –"

"What are you talking about Remus?"

_He's gone serious, (no pun,) again. How does he not understand? He flirts with everything and anything on two legs, he has never kept a partner for more than two weeks, so how could I even dream of being any different?_

"I'm talking about – you know – this. If – if we do, you know, get together officially, I'm not just going to be another conquest. I –"

_Here goes nothing. And everything._

"I love you, Sirius. I know it sounds sappy, and stupid, and girly, but it's true. I love you."

_Stare at the wall, the empty corridor outside, the back of the giant-killing statue, the floor, anything, anything at all except _him...

"And I love you too Remus."

_WHAT!_

"W-what!"

"I love you Remus, and I have no intention of ever letting you go."

_No way. No freaking way. No freaking, cursed way. Sirius Black wants me. _Me!_ A wiry, scarred werewolf. Wow. _Me! _ It's too good to be true, really, but wow..._

"R-really?"

"Really. Now please, please, shut up and let me kiss you!"

"Sur – mmph."

_Wow. He is one hell of a kisser. And he's all mine._

_**Finis**_


End file.
